What It Means to Be a Good Mentor

Whether you’ve been promoted to a role with managerial responsibilities, have excelled in your career and have accumulated a wealth of wisdom to impart, or even just find that friends and colleagues often ask for your advice, being a mentor can be very rewarding, but having an influence on someone else’s life is also a big responsibility.

There isn’t a singular approach to mentoring. Everyone’s different. People have different backgrounds, interests, personalities, and perspectives. They have different learning speeds, capacities, and methods, and will respond differently to different stimuli. However, there are some general rules that any mentor can follow that will lead to getting a better sense of how a particular mentee learns and grows.

I. Managing Expectations

            The eventual result of being a mentor is that your mentee absorbs your wisdom and can apply it to their own life. This guidance might be a little intoxicating for some people, causing them to want more of your time than you have to give. It’s healthy for both the mentor and mentee to establish some boundaries at the outset of the relationship so everyone knows what to expect and when to expect it.

II. Assessing Needs

            Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. One mentee might need guidance where another one excels. A mentor would want to strengthen their mentee’s weaknesses rather than provide guidance that their mentee doesn’t need. You’ll likely already have an idea of some areas that could use shoring up, but what help people could use isn’t always totally apparent. Creating a form for your mentee to fill out could help give you some ideas on what needs some work; ask them what they think their strengths and weaknesses are. They might have some blind spots they don’t recognize, but at the very least, you’ll find out what they feel is important, which will give you a better sense of the person you’re working with.

III. Active Listening

            Mentoring might naturally feel like a role where you’re doing most of the talking, but like any relationship, listening is just as important. Being an active listener will not only teach you more about what your mentee might need, but it can also help a mentee discover things for themselves, helping them become more self-sufficient.

“I’ve had mentors that listen just to give an immediate reply, but Angela listens to understand. She absorbs the concern at hand, then provides appropriate, bias-free guidance that comes from the heart.” –Natasha Joseph, Director of Franchise Development at Avis Budget Group

IV. Having Empathy

            Remember that everyone is only human, and though you may think a course of action is easy enough, someone else might struggle taking it. Try to understand your mentee’s position and feelings. It will not only help you better assess their situation, but can strengthen the bond the two of you have, which in turn can lead to both more honest requests from the mentee and a stronger desire to consider your advice.

V. Making Decisions

            Remember, the goal of mentorship is not to control someone’s life, but help them become more self-sufficient using the wisdom you impart. Don’t be offended or discouraged if a mentee doesn’t always take your advice, but by continuing to provide support, people will be able to grow into the person you’re helping them become.

Angela Barbato is an award-winning Agile Product Leader. Having held a range of senior leadership roles, Angela is a foremost expert on the topics of leadership, transformation and customer experience. You can find out more about Angela at www.abarbato.com.